How is this happening???

Craziness has snuck up and captured my friends and the hubs! Maybe it's stupidity, maybe they are addicted to pain, I don't know what it is exactly, but I don't like it. What exactly am I referring to? A race, a 5K (no thats not the part I think is crazy but I don't fault you for thinking so little of me) called The Warrior Dash, why such an intimidating name? Well because the race is stupid difficult. Check it:

"Welcome to America's most insane race. Warrior Dash lands in Texas for the first time in 2010 where 14 obstacles from hell await along this 3.51 mile course. Are you a warrior?"

Lets talk about said obstacles from hell and how I feel about those: 1) "resist gale force winds as you run through tornado alley" The accompanying picture is of a dust storm with a dude COVERED (all caps, this is serious) in dust. 2) "Traverse the gully on wooden planks" planks = skinny little boards! I can't even run straight on the treadmill. 3)"Rio Run, dash down river" I don't understand this, you just asked me to stay out of the water now you want me to run through it - I don't play Simon says, I do what I want (I really need an audio clip for what that should sound like, its not near as great when you type it). 4) "Forge your way through uncharted forest" I will end up running the wrong way, guaranteed. 5) "Straight Rush,navigate the slippery river bed" they want you to do this as fast as you can, I have a feeling my feet wouldn't be the only part of my body that ended up in the mud. 6) "Mud climb, conquer the slick incline" Mud. Slick.Incline. None of those descriptors match up for me with the idea of conquering unless the victory is theirs not mine. 7) "Mud slide, slide down a muddy slope" = bruised butt for days to come, no thanks.

NOW YOU ARE HALF WAY DONE! who's excited???

8) "Bunker Blitz, clamor out of the creek and up the mud embankment" you can't use the word clamor in a good way, its impossible. 8) "Hay fever, hustle up and over giant straw bales" I don't know if you have ever played on hay before, it itches and makes little cuts in your skin, so when you are soaking wet you have itchy, scratchy hay stuck to every exposed part of your body and probably some unexposed parts as well. 9) "Breathless Bog, trudge through waist deep water and over the logs" I laughed out loud when I read this. 10) "Splintering Spools, Scale the wooden barriers over the slopping terrain" Yes, now that i am wet, covered in mud and dusted with hay scaling wood structures is bound to go well. 11) "Cargo Net, maneuver over the cargo nets" If you are following along you should be thinking something like "Daaaaang, this race requires some serious arm strength." How often does running produce strong arms? Basic question really. 12) "Warrior Roast, leap over the warrior fires" Once you do this you can officially add "Carnie" to your resume. 13) "Muddy Mayhem, scramble beneath barbed wire as you near the finish." Incase you don't feel humiliated yet, get on your stomach, crawl through the mud and try not to inflict a wound which would require stitches.

And all of this for what? Well when you finish they give you a t-shirt, a warrior medal, and the most important part of all, a warrior viking helmet. And this my sane friends is why my athletic couple friends I mentioned in the previous post as well as fun Brueggs and always athletic hubs want to drag me through this nightmare...the viking helmet.

As for the part of the description of the race that asks "Are you a warrior?" No, no I am not, I prefer pansy over warrior.